We all want to fly like an eagle, to soar above the clouds, and achieve our dreams/goals. I know I do. When I heard this Steve Miller Band song on the radio, I thought about time, what I spend constructively and wisely versus the minutes and hours of, well, let's say they aren't exactly helping to achieve my goals, though the time is relaxing. I don't make excuses; I just can't shake the bad habit. Whether it's cruising through and lingering on social media, or binge watching multiple seasons of my favorite TV shows, or sleeping -- wait, scratch that. Gotta have sleep, or at least some semblance of rest -- the desire for downtime is greater than the need.
It's partly because there's no clock ticking in the background. Not any more. Not those years which looked like this: get up at 5:30 am, write for 30 minutes, get dressed and ready to be at work by 7:00, grade papers in the evening because grades need to be reported by Friday, conference nights, faculty meetings, workshops, all of them with a scheduled day and time. An agenda to regiment my life.
Now? Retirement has had its way of creeping up on me and taking over my discipline. I think it's the freedom, the pure joy of no more deadlines. I am still feeling it. Okay, so I do have things I still like to accomplish. I enjoy writing. I. Write. Books. Yes, indeedy. I do try and discipline myself, write a little each day, (at least more than I did when working full time), set a date to finish the current WIP ... well, sort of. I honestly can't compete with my good buddy and writerly friend whose initials are J.L. You know who you are. :-) She's a writing machine, cranking out the pages in such a frenzied pace, it's mind-blowing. I love her for that.
Of course I do have deadlines when I'm working with an editor because those publishing contracts require it. But when I'm in-between projects, I become a slug. Yes, a frightened slug. Starting something new is quite a different animal, a challenge with intimidation rearing its ferocious head. It's starting the race all over again, complete with all the hurdles. Take a few deep breaths, do jumping jacks, and sprint, or at least move a step or two forward! That's what I see and feel, even though my goal-oriented mind tells me to snap out of it and make that author dream deal with that dream publisher a reality!
I will step forward, though. I will. It may be intimidating, but it's exciting, too. New worlds to explore, new adventures to create. So ... things are about to change. 1) I will set a schedule. 2) I will follow said schedule. 3) I will complete my new writing projects in a timely manner.... as soon as I finish binge-watching that show ... and maybe check up on Facebook, Twitter ... *sigh* Such is my crazy life... but I love it!