We all want to fly like an eagle, to soar above the clouds, and achieve our dreams/goals. I know I do. When I heard this Steve Miller Band song on the radio, I thought about time, what I spend constructively and wisely versus the minutes and hours of, well, let's say they aren't exactly helping to achieve my goals, though the time is relaxing. I don't make excuses; I just can't shake the bad habit. Whether it's cruising through and lingering on social media, or binge watching multiple seasons of my favorite TV shows, or sleeping -- wait, scratch that. Gotta have sleep, or at least some semblance of rest -- the desire for downtime is greater than the need.
It's partly because there's no clock ticking in the background. Not any more. Not those years which looked like this: get up at 5:30 am, write for 30 minutes, get dressed and ready to be at work by 7:00, grade papers in the evening because grades need to be reported by Friday, conference nights, faculty meetings, workshops, all of them with a scheduled day and time. An agenda to regiment my life.
Now? Retirement has had its way of creeping up on me and taking over my discipline. I think it's the freedom, the pure joy of no more deadlines. I am still feeling it. Okay, so I do have things I still like to accomplish. I enjoy writing. I. Write. Books. Yes, indeedy. I do try and discipline myself, write a little each day, (at least more than I did when working full time), set a date to finish the current WIP ... well, sort of. I honestly can't compete with my good buddy and writerly friend whose initials are J.L. You know who you are. :-) She's a writing machine, cranking out the pages in such a frenzied pace, it's mind-blowing. I love her for that.
Of course I do have deadlines when I'm working with an editor because those publishing contracts require it. But when I'm in-between projects, I become a slug. Yes, a frightened slug. Starting something new is quite a different animal, a challenge with intimidation rearing its ferocious head. It's starting the race all over again, complete with all the hurdles. Take a few deep breaths, do jumping jacks, and sprint, or at least move a step or two forward! That's what I see and feel, even though my goal-oriented mind tells me to snap out of it and make that author dream deal with that dream publisher a reality!
I will step forward, though. I will. It may be intimidating, but it's exciting, too. New worlds to explore, new adventures to create. So ... things are about to change. 1) I will set a schedule. 2) I will follow said schedule. 3) I will complete my new writing projects in a timely manner.... as soon as I finish binge-watching that show ... and maybe check up on Facebook, Twitter ... *sigh* Such is my crazy life... but I love it!
How many times has someone told you that you're overdoing it, you should take a break, or give it a rest? When I was very young, my mom would say, "quit running it into the ground". I often wonder if in a way, even though she'd hardly intend to do so, that common response squelched my spirit of enthusiasm. Nah, I was too stubborn, too energetic and willful to let that ever happen!
All of this brings me to my point. Is there, are there, times when "too much" isn't part of the equation? I strongly believe so. Let's say you're a musician, you play an instrument, or at least may be learning to play. You practice, and practice, and practice until your entire family is shoving earplugs into their ears. Far be it that any loving and nurturing parent would take away that instrument and toss it in the trash! Not cool to do that. All the practicing has a point, right? It's obvious. You play to get better, to achieve the best skills. Hopefully, you enjoy doing so. Musicians, artists, athletes, and yes, writers strive to be the best. It's a process, a very, very long process, hard work, dedication, and let's throw passion in there. I mean, why would you ever spend so much time with something like this, if you aren't passionate? Otherwise, it sounds like a whole lot of misery taking up so much of your time.
So when anybody dares to tell you you're overdoing it, you should take a break or give it a rest, don't listen. IF this is your passion ... music, art, sports, writing, keep it up! For me, writing brings me the utmost joy. I revel in the process, I rejoice in the accomplishment. As the quote says it best (paraphrased to suit me) "writing completes me". And mom, if you're listening, I can't stop running it into the ground. But I think for this you'll excuse me. After all, you were one of my biggest supporters!
