Using the Past Perfect ... i.e. What Happened Before the Other Thing Happened

A few months ago, I received feedback from an editor on a manuscript I submitted. She asked if I would change at least half of the highlighted passive verbs and replace them with more active, descriptive verbs. To my overwhelming dismay, I found over 1,000 highlights and realized I really faced an eye-popping, finger-cramping task.

Now, the thing is that a good many of these involved the past perfect and wouldn't be necessarily labeled passive, but can make writing a bit cluttered when overdone. This is where I move on over into my teacher mode and say that if used wisely and sparingly, the past perfect is an effective tool.

It can introduce a flashback without using trite, boring phrases such as "It was several weeks ago" or "I remember the time when". For instance, "Mary had buried the shoebox under the oak tree. She died the next winter and we realized that her secret might never be told. But then, Max dug a hole to bury his bone and found the box, which he carried proudly in his mouth to the front door..."

Note, I only used the past perfect -- had buried -- once, and then the rest of the verbs remained in the past tense. It does the job and remains clear and tight.

Now, if you are using the verb "to have" -- I have, I have had, I had had; or "to be" -- I was, I had been, then you probably want to change all or most of them to more descriptive and concise verbs. For example, "he had the answer to her problem" could easily be replaced with "he discovered the answer to her problem." Or ... "the bird had a wingspan of at least five feet" could be changed to "the bird carried a wingspan of at least five feet."

I think that it takes practice to defeat the use of "lazy" passive verbs. Sometimes, like in my case, you might not even realize you are using them. Do a word search and tally them up, then toss a good deal of them out! Your writing and stories will thank you :-)

Happy writing!

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One aspect of writing that is easy to forget ... or maybe we tend to ignore it. Like exercising. More work than fun. I speak of expanding your vocabulary. Oh, I know you probably use the thesaurus in Microsoft Word to avoid all that makes us sound dull, boring, mundane. So, why not try something different? Here are a couple of sites that help build and broaden your vocabulary.


VOCAB VITAMINS

ENHANCE MY VOCABULARY

And remember -- keep avoiding those cliches!

Believable Characters

Characters -- not just a compilation of physical and personal traits. The difficulty a writer faces when developing the characters for his/her project is complex. I've heard comments from those who say it took pages and pages into writing the story before really feeling like "knowing" the people in it. Can you imagine if the reader felt that way? If I had that much difficulty figuring out what the character in a book is about, why she is doing the things she's doing, I don't think I'd have the patience or the concern to keep on reading. I just wouldn't care.

So, with that said, it should seem to you very important to find out everything you can about your characters before you cut them loose on their journey through the plot of your story. The question is how? What should you do, what steps should you take to get to that point? First of all, you need to remember that story characters are people like you and me. Only they are in your book. To make them human means there are several points to consider. The character's motive, habits, interests, talents, past history, reputation are all important to development. Identifying these will turn your story people into real people who readers can identify with and sympathize with. They will become so invested in the characters that reading on until the very end becomes a must.

The tiny details are important. You can keep molding and adding those aspects to your characters, fleshing them out until the decisions and actions they perform in the story seem logical and believable. For instance, let's consider habits. Perhaps you could give a character the habit of chewing his nails to show a nervous personality, or someone who always doodles on her napkin after a meal, and then later a napkin is found at a crime scene. It has scribbles all over it, thus providing a clue. The character's interest in judo and the fact that the murder victim taught a judo class at a gym your napkin scribbler frequented makes the reader point a finger in her direction. These are just a few examples of how intricate the process of developing believable characters can be.

Where you get your ideas may vary. Strangers you observe, yourself. And sometimes characters are inspired by people you know. This works if you use them only as a starting point. From there, you should develop them according to what you'll need for your story. Flesh them out with those tiny details of habits, talent, motive, interests, etc. Then ask questions based on your story events. For instance, you want to write an opening scene where the character is home alone. There's a pounding on the door, someone shouting, demanding to be let in. Now, start the causal question process: what does the character do? Remember this depends on all those aspects you've created about the character. If it's the nail biter, maybe he'll hide in the closet, pretend he's not home. Next question: The guy breaks down the door and finds the nail biter. What does he do? He has a brave moment and uses the baseball bat stored in the closet and hits the intruder. You could insert a plot twist here: turns out it's nail biter's brother who has come to tell him his wife has been in a serious car accident. And the question process takes a turn and goes on from there. The point is, the better you know your characters, the easier it is to decide what to make them do, how to act. And the more believable they become to the reader.

For more about character development, a great source is Characters and Viewpoint by Orson Card.

Overused and Underdone

What makes a cliche? Is there a point in time, a certain mile marker when a word or phrase can wear the label "cliche"? And who decides? Obviously, those who write have learned that they must avoid them, that editors cringe at the sight of them, and it's a quick trip to the trash can or reject pile if you don't toss them out of your final draft.

It's difficult though. They are like a particular song that gets stuck in your head. You want to clear your mind of it, but it just keeps playing and playing and playing. You think of nothing else. Cliches are there in our minds, concrete walls that block our creative construction. And it probably doesn't matter when we write our first draft. That, after all, is when we keep the story moving; it's our main purpose. But then when it's time to get rid of them, replacing them with some original lines of our own ... not so easy. Do it anyway! It's worth the hard work and effort.

A couple of tips:

Deciding if a cliche is really a cliche - try checking out websites like, Cliche Site or West Egg . They might help you make a decision. Another way is to have someone else hear you say the first half of the phrase, and then see if he can finish it. Cliches usually pop up in a person's mind immediately.

To anti-cliche - take a cliche and try replacing words to work it into something original. For instance, "when all's said and done" could become "when nothing is left to do or say", or something like that. The point is to leave them out, even if the language you replace them with isn't clever and witty. Cliches are just that much worse.

Not everyone will agree on what is cliche. And some will be unavoidable - by choice or not. However, original writing is what to strive for. Who knows? One day your unique weave of words may even become a cliche!

Rose By Any Other Name ....

What's color? When we think or imagine color, we often recall red, blue, yellow, green, etc. Yet, when we write, how boring it becomes to use only those names. The shades in between are too numerous to mention them all. Or to even use them when we compose our descriptive passages. I posted about this in an earlier post, the idea of using our senses to vividly describe scenes in our writing. One of those items I listed was color. It seemed to generate comments all by itself.

It's always nice to have word banks to choose from, much like we do when using the thesaurus. So, I decided to search and find anything online that would give a list of colors. Well, I hit the mother lode in an unlikely place: wikapedia. I know, I know, this is usually NOT a source I rely on, or at least I tell my students to beware of the acuracy and to check other more reliable sources. But this is about colors, right? No harm in reading it. I must admit it's good, even great, complete with color graphs on which to feast your eyes.

Here is a comprised list of the more, shall we say, uncommon shades. For a more detailed description, check out the link posted below.

Red: carnelian, coquelicot, rose madder, sinopia, vermilion

Orange: carrot orange, gamboge, persimmon, tangelo, tenne (tawny)

Brown: burnt sienna, desert sand, ecru, raw umber, russet, sepia, taupe

Yellow: aureolin, citrine, jonquil, mikado yellow, saffron, sunglow, Vegas gold

Gray: cinereous, seal brown, Xanadu

Green: chartreuse, gray-asparagus, myrtle, olive drab, spring bud, viridian

Blue: bondi blue, cerulean, glaucous, iceberg, Maya blue, Tiffany blue, ultramarine

Violet: cerise, fandango, periwinkle, wisteria

Here's the link, if you want to know more: LIST OF COLORS


And of course you could always check your 64 count box of Crayola crayons! They make a great resource :-) Happy coloring with your words!